To the end of time

The past few months have been crazy.

The minutes have turned to hours, hours to days, days to weeks and now weeks to months. Everyday before mom passed seemed to fly past, each minute took forever and yet the days went past so fast. I look back on it now like a foggy dream I couldn't wake up from, that I still can't wake up from.

'They' say your heart will heal in time, but time hasn't really been a friend of mine. The longer with out her the more I feel like an empty shell of what I used to be. I know she would hate for me to be sad, but I find it hard to be happy. Everyday I think of more things I should have said, would have said, might have said, and now it's too late. I don't regret the things I did before her passing, I was blessed to spend almost everyday with her, right up to the end, but now things have changed and I feel like I need her more then ever.

It's strange to think of how different things are now. How lonely it can be with only one person missing from my life. I often think of how people remember her, what it is people think of when they think of her. For me it's her laugh, how I wish I could hear it only one more time. Or the way she didn't have to say anything and yet I knew what she was thinking. I only wish I could remember the good and forget the bad, I know her time to pass had come, and her love for me will last to the end of time.